I’m still reading mss, but today and tomorrow I’m taking a break from work and assessing mss. I’m a bit tired and I really do not get a kick out of sending rejections. I worry, too, that my comments may come across as nit picky, when the author of the ms has to deal with the rejection. It is hard to tell whether someone is ready for feedback. I’m thinking if someone got a full request then they should be ready…I’m hoping they are ready and see them as a way forward.
In my ten years or so of writing I’ve been rejected many times for various mss, short stories and novels and I’ve felt the whole gamut of feelings from being close to tears to preparing myself for bad news beforehand so it don’t kick so bad. Sometimes I couldn’t help getting my hopes up only to have them dashed. The thought that the elusive email or phone call from an editor or agent saying they loved my work is a fading fantasy. I’ve had friends get that email and I’m just close, not quite good enough. (not necessarily a good profession to aspire to when you have low self-esteem, though these days my self-esteem problems are under control).
So here I am grasping hold of the shreds of hope, revising the novel that I have faith in. Today, I’ve been able to put to use some of the insights from ms reading and apply it to myself. Do I do the common errors that I noted while reading? Most definitely. Today I cut back, restructured and rewrote a chapter that I had trimmed last week. However, I missed a few things. Then I went back to check something and found a continuity error. I’m trimming back and I can see the discipline of word count and succinctness are really useful things to help focus dialogue and make me question whether I need all those character thoughts and all that description. I also start to question whether I like the sound of my own voice. Snip. Snip. Snip.
It’s around 11.00am and I’m down to 158,798 words (last tally was 159,283). I’m trimming and it’s hard work. It takes concentration, some skill and perseverance.
Donna Maree Hanson, Author, Phd in Creative Writing 
Down to under 156,000 words by 5.30pm. Yay me! Off to a book launch now.
Taking a break is good for the brain. I think most people who submitted to AR’s open month have had rejections before. I’ve had 50+ for short stories and poems, and it started to get to me so I stopped submitting for awhile to focus on my prose and finish my novel. Submitting to AR was the first time I had queried anything in about a year, and the first time I’ve queried a novel.
When I had my flurry of rejections, I really cherished the ones that gave me feedback, even if it was just a sentence or two. Even though it stung, it stung a lot less than a form rejection, and it gave me something to work with for next time. I’m sure the people you are taking the time to give feedback to appreciate it, even through their disappointment. And if they can’t handle the rejection or the feedback, then that’s their issue, not yours.
Writing is essentially self-masochistic. You’ll never feel like you’re “good enough.” I’m sure your novel is fantastic!
Thanks for your comment Laura. I think the break is allowing me to recharge a bit.
And it is so much a matter of taste – and luck! I might have written the world’s best fantasy novel set in Korea with a hippogryph as the protag, but if the publisher has just bought a fantasy novel set in Korea, or one that stars a hippogryph, I’m out of luck! The same is likely to apply if the hippogryph reminds the editor of a hated ex-lover, or something. The odds are worse than a lottery!
I think luck and taste are definite factors, Satima. Thank you for your comment and for reading my post.
The number one key to good writing is, IMO, this: Write what you want to write, what you’re passionate about — whether this strikes a cord with editors and readers is definitely pure luck. Trying to write to order, to some kind of commercial ideal, usually leads to insipid writing.
Actually, I’ve always suspected that low self esteem was just a part of being an author. So many that I’ve met have been shy and hesitant, even when published and successful. Maybe it brings the proper sense of introspection to the work. *shrug*
I any case, thank you for your continued insight into the whole process. Like Laura, above, I’ve always cherished the feedback I’ve recieved from editors, agents, and readers. More often than not I get nothing but a ‘Dear Author.’
I don’t envy you your work in trying to cut down your manuscript. It is always hard to part with words that you’ve fought hard to get down in the first place.
Good luck, and thanks again.
Perhaps as Human beings we all experience some form of insecurity or loss of confidence. However writers, like other creative artists, have little control over the factors that contribute their own success. A common element is perseverance.
I don’t know about low self-esteem, but certainly depression is a common factor with authors, as it is in any creative profession. The problem is that you really empty your heart out onto the page, and having that rejected can be very difficult to take.
Also, authors by necessity spend a lot of time in their own company. An extensive social life and a flourishing writing career are not usually compatible.
Well, Nigel, I haven’t heard from you or about you for years. Hope you are well. I think I have heard that there is a higher rate of depression among writers.
Hi Donna. After a couple of dismal failures, my confidence took a nosedive and my output came to a complete halt. But I started writing again last year and I’ve already had one story accepted for publication. So, who know, you might hear a little more of me from time to time. At the moment, though, I’m keeping a relatively low profile in the writing community.