My day job has been rather tense and hectic. I was pushing to get a report out and you know what…I stuffed up. Maybe that was in a small way. Proofing errors and a couple of little things that I really couldn’t afford to do. I thought I was having a stroke or something. The errors weren’t because I wasn’t being careful. I was. The errors happened because I couldn’t see them.
A workmate took me aside. She had lost her mother more recently than me. Her explanation for my lapse made sense. She said that I was still grieving for my mum. I had thought I wasn’t suffering too much grief at all, but I’m pretty good at sublimation or suppression. Her theory was that a good part of my mind was elsewhere. That made sense to me. I’m not trying to suppress anymore. Work moved on and the report cleared. Now it seems that a cloud has lifted. Maybe it’s because we took mum’s ashes to Bondi Beach and let the sea take her away, maybe it’s because I have acknowledged it and maybe a combination of both.
Like most people my mother was fundamental to my existence. She was a source of both pleasure and pain, love and anguish. I also realise that I had been responsible for her welfare for nearly 19 years. All my decisions were made around her, mostly so these last four years. So maybe I should just give myself a break, pat myself on the back and move along.
Tomorrow, I fly to Perth. I’m going to spend time with the lovely, awesome and inspiring Glenda Larke and then we are heading to Swancon for the Easter long weekend. I feel light. I feel happy. John Scalzi and Kylie Chan are the guests of honour. I believe we are going to the guest of honour dinner on Wednesday.
Canberra is turning cool so I’m hoping Perth will offer some warmth. I have some friends and acquaintances that I hope to catch up with. The weekend after I get back is the Canberra Jane Austen Festival and on Saturday 11th the Aurealis Awards. Later in the month it’s my birthday. April is so jam packed.
In other hyperactive news, I’ve been making silk flowers, a bonnet and Regency cross over front dress. Also, my editor sent this photo of me signing at the ARRA conference recently. Technically I was signing as me and Dani K. I’m hoping to put up another author interview soon.
