I’ve been quiet mostly because I’m busy at work and with the university assignments. After a bunch of personal stuff hitting me last Thursday I got word just before I went to bed that a novel manuscript had been rejected. Apparently my rejection went astray and I waited a year to query. I had a feeling this one wasn’t quite right for the imprint so I’m not surprised by the outcome.
It was pretty tough news though, coming as it did after a day of blow after blow of personal crap (not my personal crap but originating in those close to me). What it sparked off for me though was the assessment of where I was at. Here I am at this time of year and still I haven’t sold a novel and I know that it’s not going to happen anytime soon, particularly with Christmas round the corner. So I guess I really hate this part because it feels like I haven’t achieved anything.
This is my negative self speak talking and I really should own it. I do have this negative ear worm. If an editor says something nice, I tend not to believe it. Silly really when you use logic. If one asks for a manuscript, I think they are humoring me. If one says send me something else, I think he or she is just being nice.
My lovely partner, Matthew, and my good friend, Nicole Murphy, both gave me pep talks. Nicole told me to submit the novel to the Manuscript Monday so I did. Then if I didn’t hear back in the month then I am to submit it elsewhere, so I will.
I also sent out a few short stories and did an outline for another novel. I’m thinking about what to write for nanowrimo, although I think I’m going to find it hard to write given report writing at work and the massive proofread I have to do for the uni project.
However, I’m stating this here and now. I have achieved stuff this year. Maybe not the novel sale, but this year has been massive for me. I did the reading submissions thing and learned a lot and I’ve been doing this editing course, which has also been excellent. I’ve sold more short stories this year than I ever have. I also still have another MS under consideration out there.
And I’m going to write another novel on the writing retreat in January and I have some revisions and cutting back to do on Dragon Wine so I can send that out too.
I let these negative feelings interfere with things. I leave manuscripts in my hard drive for years and do nothing with them. I’m not going to sell anything leaving them in there.
Another thing, and this maybe useful to others, I continue to write new projects because they aren’t going to get published if they aren’t written. The more projects I write, the more chance I have of hitting the right editor with the right manuscript. Perhaps hitting isn’t the correct word to use here.
The upshot is I’m not giving up. I’m not listening to the self deflating, negative mind speak. I’m pushing forward.
Donna Maree Hanson, Author, Phd in Creative Writing 
Go for it, Donna! I totally get what you’re saying, as I too have a somewhat self-effacing attitude towards my writing. It can be such a struggle – being your own cheerleader. But it’s also a necessity.
Just think about everything you know now compared to, say, three years ago… The success you dream about is getting closer all the time, every day. All you have to do is keep going 🙂
Thanks Zena. Keep on!
Good. Keep listening to me, girl. I know EVERYTHING 🙂
Well done on stopping and acknowledging what you have achieved. You’ve done a lot and what’s more, you’ve done well on the stuff you can control. You can’t control whether you get published or not (unless you self-publish) and you can beat yourself down by focussing on that (and you know I know what I’m talking about there).
Do what you can, focus on the amazing accomplishment of all you’ve learnt, how your writing has and will continue to improve and don’t give up.
Take it easy. You might blow your own mind. Hugs.