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Archive for the ‘A writer’s life’ Category

September was flat out busy. I worked full time and at a higher level, which left me flopped on the couch or swilling wine in the bar with Matthew when he came to collect me. I have worked at that level for years but in a different organisation and a different job. So much reporting and so many meetings! And I still had work to do relating to my normal job. However, it was of short duration and I got paid extra.

In my last week, I got sick. Not covid sick which would have been awful as we were flying to Bali for my son’s wedding. I had laryngitis and couldn’t talk for two days and lots of horrible congestion too. I was a bit sick of people telling me I was on mute. I was covid negative and could get to Bali and the wedding and all the things. I was still coughing and blowing my nose though. My son and my daughter in law caught Covid before the wedding but they were well enough to get to Bali and do the thing.

The wedding was amazing but I’ll save that for another post. Only to say that I sat at the bridal table with my ex husband and my partner and it was fine!

We loved the resort we stayed at in Bali but we didn’t love the Bali belly. We had the Bali belly when we went to Singapore. My son was sick when he came back so we had the lovely Dev take us out two days, and my daughter in law on another day and then finally my son met us after he’d been dosed with antibiotics etc. We also had lots of travel woes. That’s another post too.

Then we came home to set off on our journey to Tasmania where we were due to go on a writing retreat in Port Huon, Terror Australis, with such luminaries as Ann Cleeves, Gary Disher and Vanda Symon.

I had a doctor’s appointment with my doctor where we discussed the Bali belly and the cough (now nearly a month old). He sent me for a PCR and whooping cough test. It came back negative. We visited Sharyn and Chris all good. We visited Keri, all good. A slight bit of coughing.

We visited Trudi on Monday..a lot of coughing and I felt pretty bad that night. We caught the boat to Devonport in the north of Tasmania. I had a telehealth appointment with my doctor who prescribed anibiotics for the cough. We visited another friend and then we felt under the weather. I can’t say we felt very unwell as that has all kinds of connotations. We were tired, had a mild sore throat. We moved onto Hobart and then Matthew did a RATS test. He was positive. I was pissed off. I was still sick from the illness in September. I ordered some more RATS tests to be delivered and was positive as well. OMG! We had visited people. Trudi ended up positive at the same time we did. Eep! She’d been travelling too but it could have been us.

I had made the assumption that I wasn’t contagious as my PCR had been negative on Sunday but by Wednesday night I had full blown symptoms (in hindsight). Also we had been feeling the cold but we figured we’d just got back from the tropics and we were tired because we had been travelling and not always sleeping well. There you go. It was covid.

We were in a hotel in Hobart and we didn’t know what to do. I contacted someone who was organising the retreat. For a while there we were contemplating ten days in a hotel and kissing goodbye $7000 we had spent on the retreat. However, we were lucky enough to be able to head to our retreat accommodation after all. We would be in a self contained unit. Meals could be delivered. They could try to let us attend masterclasses virtually for a few days until we were better. We were so grateful and it really made a potential disaster better.

We’ve been here now since Saturday afternoon. The first masterclass with Ann Cleeves was yesterday. We were phoned in and it wasn’t a great connection etc, but we heard some of it and what we heard was. great. Inspiring even.

I’ve been writing in our room, looking at the view. I’ve been for walks, masked so all good. We are really looking forward to joining in later in the week too.

This afternoon we have a masterclass with Vanda Symon, NZ crime writer and she’s sent us slides and stuff in preparation. Again so grateful.

The food is great…we just don’t have coffee! Matthew masked up and got some for the next town so all good. I’m no longer desperate for coffee and a call out saw my tea bag coffer refilled.

Yesterday my physical energy was good, but I had the imposter syndrome in my ear. I was having a crisis of what I should do, whether it would be any good and so on. Despite this I did write around 2,500 words of two projects. I had planned an SF crime story but I baulked on that. Today, I’ve done a little but the energy is lower.

Tasmania is beautiful by the way.

This is the view from the hotel entrance.

The picture above is from across the road at the marina. Below is the view from our room where we write.

This is a shot from the walkway I strode upon this morning. Lots of birds and marshes and rushes etc.

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This is a follow up to my accountability post.

I am still writing, regularly and rediscovering my joy in writing. It feels great.

No huge new project just yet. I’ve been revising drafts of works I started a while ago. I’ve sent Tainted Lady, my Regency romance novel off to a beta reader. I think it needs more work but beta reader comments help with that.

I’m currently revising a middle school kids book, called Grandma Neebs through the pantry door. It’s fun but also new learning for me. I do read kid’s books to research but writing them is an art. I have a beta reader lined up for that one, I just need to put my shoulder to the wheel. It’s relatively short so I hope I can knock it over before we travel.

I’ve also been writing short stories-I received a rejection this week. This means looking for a new market. I entered a contest and I have another story submitted. I don’t write a lot of short stories generally only I have found they help get the buzz going. Finishing a short story is great. Sending it out is great. Rejections not so much but I tell myself at least I’m writing regularly.

Even if it is only 30 mins in the morning before I start work or 30 mins when I finish work, it’s something. Today I’ve been at it a few hours and have now detoured to the blog.

That’s the challenge with writing, striking a balance between family, social outings, work and writing. To write a lot, you have to sacrifice, unless you can find a balance. I’m searching for that balance.

We have also found making time with ourselves to write at the National Library really useful and productive. Unfortunately, I’ll be working full time and then travelling so I’ll have to rebalance again. I’m hoping it will be easier this time because I’ve found some joy.

Best

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Just so you know I’m not just slacking off, particularly after the RWA conference in Sydney, where I swore to myself I would be more professionally focussed and writer centred.

  • I’m in my office with the heater on–tick
  • I’ve been reading, thinking and researching (all kind of run together)–tick
  • I have been writing (Yesterday at the National Library)–tick
  • I finished a draft of a crime short story and sent it to be read again–tick (thank you Matthew and Lily)
  • I wrote a bit more on my paranormal romance. Not much so half a tick.
  • I’m in my office to work on anything. I have a white board on the wardrobe doors with a raft of writing and administrative tasks and I told myself-one hour on anything — tick

Evidence of said white board in the pic below but be aware that it needs a complete rewrite…still a bit bad that the to do list needs rewriting! I had the doors installed for this purpose. Matthew has one too.

I’m trying to make myself comfortable in my office again and have it associated as a place where I work. Long story but I moved out to make room for a foster daughter (which didn’t end well) and it’s taken me a long while to get settled in here and I got rid of all the shelves and stuff so it’s still not mine yet. I did buy a new fantastical rug. Still more office furniture to go.

And lucky for me we have an amazing view and when I’m lost for inspiration I can look out over the ranges, I can sit on the deck if I have some manuscript reading to do and I can chill. The sky and the ranges are always changing so it’s enjoyable and affirming to look outside.

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It’s been years since I’ve been to a Romance Writers of Australia Conference and this one did not disappoint. Every session, every key note address, touched me, taught me or trained me. It is very professionally focussed. Networking is great too. Romance writers are really very professional and encouraging to others and there were people I hadn’t seen for years-some I knew their face but not their names. It was great to catch up with friends, with industry professionals and so on. This year my friend Kaaren Sutcliffe was nominated for a Ruby for speculative fiction and that was a great impetus for her to make her first conference (along with over 100 newbies). It is good to have a mate there for your first time. Kaaren went to a newbie session, which is great to meet new people.

I don’t tend to go to the Friday workshops-they cost extra and well $$$. However, I do go to the cocktail party, with the theme All that glitters…even the bubbly had sparkles added.

I wore this new top, tunic thing and my shiny, sparkly boots for fun. Before the cocktail party I bumped into Alex Adsett and Abigail Nathan (Alex Adsett Literary) and friends! We did a little catch up, post PhD and long time no see thing.

Usually there are some fantastic dress ups at the RWA cocktail party. There were many beautiful and sparkling outfits. The clouds and the chandelier were the winners.

The networking continued, plus there was a bag all on its own and I want one! In the picture below, Pamela Freeman (Hart), Anita Heiss, Lisa Darcy and me.

Saturday the serious stuff happened. A key note from Steffanie Holmes (Green) on her path to success. The session was called something like, Don’t give up before the miracle happened. She said she didn’t start earning well until she published her 30th book. I’m up to 20 and I was thinking….It was such an inspirational speech, I had to go to her session on writing Reverse Harem and that was great too.

I went to a session on Undressing the Heroine (I think it was called that) and no you can’t rip that bodice. It was very informative and we got to fondle corsets and other underwear. It was also presented in an entertaining way. Another favourite for me was Turning to Crime by Alison Stuart…because I want to write crime and she shared all her methods and research with us. Fantastic.

Then there was the awards dinner. A lot of screaming and cheering as some people were watching the Matildas versus France. I got a few shots of the room. This one with Kaaren Sutcliffe. And lucky they removed the feathers before the food arrived.

Saturday we also had a lunch time talk by Amy Andrews about burn out. I felt like she was talking about me, because I find it hard to get on the computer and write these days. I figured it was post PHD burn out. Her talk resonated with me and I’ve been working on getting my love of writing back. That said I have been writing, I just don’t feel productive. I’ve drafted a kids book, currently reworking to first person, I’m revising a regency romance I drafted in 2016 and drafting a paranormal romance as well as researching new projects!

Sunday there was more sessions. One from Anne Gracie about engaging the reader, which was a very useful reminder and Anne Gracie’s work is engaging! A key note from Stephanie London, Enisa Haines etc, etc. I’d have to go find the program to be more specific but yeah it was fab.

Now I come to the end of my post. Sadly I think I ate something off at my hotel (not the RWA venue) because I got food poisoning symptoms on the train back to Canberra and then at home and then afterwards, sore muscles. So sore and it still hurts to laugh. Next year, the venue is at Glenelg and I hope to be there.

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Matthew and I try to get to the National Library of Australia to write, once or twice a week. I’m still trying to get my writing mojo back and it’s coming slowly. Today we got here a tad later than planned because I was on the hunt for sparkle boots. Why sparkle boots? Well tomorrow we head up to Sydney on the train as I’m going to the Romance Writers of Australia Conference with a theme of ‘all that glitters’. Hence, the boots.

I haven’t been to a conference for a while, standard reason, Covid. The RWA have always been for me the most professionally focussed of conventions, there to network, inspire and share knowledge. Also, lots of opportunities if you take them to pitch novels to editors and agents and so on. I decided to go because I want to feel I’m back in the writing scene again and yes I want inspiration and example to guide me back to where I was.

We have also booked to got to Terror Australis in Tasmania in October on what we think is a once in a life time occasion. We have booked a writers retreat, workshops and the festival itself, with some fabulous guests, such as Ann Cleeves and Gary Disher. I think I’ve mentioned this before. Link is here.

My first foray into crime fiction is writing a short story which I want to enter into The Scarlett Stiletto Award. Link here. Today I revised the draft I wrote last week. It needs more but it’s shaping up.

I love genre and I write horror, SF, fantasy, dark fantasy, paranormal romance and now I’m dabbling in romance and I really want to try crime too. I love watching crime shows and I read it as well, not as much as I write speculative type fiction though.

Anyway, speaking of…I should get back to the other revisions on the novel I’m working on.

Anyway, here is a pic from the NLA of the lake from last week.

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This post comes to you today from the National Library of Australia. Fellow writer Dan O’Malley encouraged me (us) to write here and he’s right. It is a good place to go to make an appointment with yourself to write.

I’m back in my day job and I’ve been struggling with up back and shoulder pain. I realised yesterday this was due to not sitting ergonomically, which is weird because I’m usually focussed on that. After discussing it with Matthew we decided it was because I had been feeling so good, particularly in the lead up to my surgery, that I thought I was impervious to things. Not true.

Anyway, now I’m kind of normal again – a bit achey, my knees are having a down week and so on.

Today though I did head off to aqua aerobics and now after a yummy but cheap pensioner lunch at the club, I’m here at the library to write. Yay me! I give myself points for being here.

Today I’m going to work on two things-a revision of the Regency romance and the drafting of my new paranormal novel, tentatively called The Lightning Strike and I have no idea why it’s called that.

That’s it from me. Here is a pic of Matthew and me. He stole my spot on the couch and wouldn’t move so I lay down on top of him and still he wouldn’t move!

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The knee surgery was nowhere near as bad as I expected. I had definite ideas about the amount of pain I would be in because I had surgery on my knee for a tumour 14 years ago, which was excruciating. This was different. The pain management was brilliant. Not being in excruciating pain makes recovery so much better. I had partial knee replacements and they are far less brutal than total knee replacements, if my recovery is anything to go by.

What type of pain relief did I get? I had an epidural, I had nerve blocks in both thighs, I had Palexia slow release, panodol and also if I needed Endone or Parlexia rapid release. I think getting the epidural and the nerve block was the ouchiest part prior to going into theatre. Moving too, also, was not entirely comfortable post-surgery but basically I was surprised at how little pain I was in. And the staff had me up and walking the next day. The nerve blocks lasted for four days and by then I was over the worst apparently. I think the hardest thing was coming off the high grade opioids like Palexia slow release. I didn’t even notice I was taking them until I stopped. After two weeks on them I had withdrawals and felt like crap for a few days.

Other issues besides getting used to the legs and what they could and couldn’t do, was being restless at night without the meds. These days though I’m not restless at all or on meds much. Sometimes I take panodol and more often just heat packs. I went to rehab and that helped a lot. It was an outpatient rehab program at the hospital twice a week-one hour in the gym and one hour in the pool doing hydrotherapy for five weeks after week 3. I also had to take a trip across the ditch to New Zealand to see family.

Anyway, close to normal now and I’m in week ten. The scars take time to mature and I have swelling around the knees, but a big thumbs up to partial knee replacements. I would have to have waited years for total replacements, while I marked time for the other parts of my knee wear out. Now I feel kind of spritely again and I’m able to write a lot sooner than I thought I would.

I’ve been writing short stories. Two.

Revising a Regency romance I drafted before I started the Phd so last looked at in 2016. I’ve been revising this for a while.

Drafting a new paranormal romance, featuring Gene Cohen from the The Cursed Ones series and a new witch called Lily DeVere. This kind of makes it a cross over between the Spellbound in Sydney series.

I’ve got lots on my plate in the drafted to be revised, restructured to the yet to be drafted categories. Once I have my head in the right space I’ll work out a timetable and commit some time, particularly the Phd novel and research. The catch is I’m back at the day job and there is only so much time I can spend on the computer due to back/neck issues.

In other news too, Matthew and I are heading to Tasmania in October for Terror Australis, including a week’s writing retreat, workshops and the festival featuring Ann Cleeves and Gary Disher. Website here. This is after we come back from Bali and Singapore so a busy time ahead. I’d like to write some crime fiction-it’s one of my favourite genres. Let’s face it I love all genre fiction.

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Tomorrow provided nothing gets in the way of it, I will be going under the knife for two partial knee replacements. I think there might be power tools involved but I really don’t want to think about that.

I’ve been working on my fitness the last few months and have upped the exercise this week. I went for my last walk in the drizzle today and did my ten minutes on the bike. As a result, my knees in the lead up have been really good, enough to have me wake up in the morning on occasion and say I don’t need it. However, the last couple of days with the increase in exercise, my knees have been very grumbly. Anyhow, while it’s going to hurt for a while, I know it should get better over time. Also, with partial knee replacements I keep half my knee and that helps with recovery and even better stability. Tonight and tomorrow I must wash in anti-bacterial solution to reduce the risk of infection, particular the multi resistant kind. Matthew has volunteered to change the sheets! (must remind him).

I have finished sending out the links to the thesis to those who romance writers and readers who participated in the survey and left their email addresses. So if you didn’t receive one your email might have bounced etc. However, drop me a line if you feel you missed out.

I’m about to do a bit of writing for a bit, now that I have done some admin. I’m packed up for hospital in the morning. Here’s me on the stationary bike this morning.

Other things to look forward to is travel later in the year.

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When it rains it pours they say.

I’ve just submitted my first short story submission in years. I wrote a bloody short story! And I enjoyed it. Yay me. I am still a writer. You may think what the hell she’s published books and stories what is she talking about.

Well if you don’t write for a bit or you are finding it hard to engage, which I have done, you don’t feel like a writer much. In my case, I started thinking you were a writer and now you’re just in limbo. However, I had never considered giving up willingly at all. I just felt like I wasn’t doing what I should to be a writer.

I watch way too much crime series on streaming services. Hello, Vera! Broadchurch, Midsummer Murders etc. And for the pandemic years, which aren’t really over, I have been very confined in my taste for viewing and reading too. Thank god for Audibile I say.

I’m scheduled for knee surgery on Monday and may be unable to write during May. I’ll be on sick leave from my day job too. However, I must admit that I have had ideas running around my head. This is a good sign. Now I just have to be more devoted and methodical to the act of writing. Now that the short story is done, I can get back to other projects, of which I have many.

Better get back to it. I just needed to virtue signal about actually achieving something.

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I am in the process of emailing out links to the thesis to the romance writers and readers who participated in my research. However, I have to do it manually a few at a time. I sent a whole bunch out this morning and if I have time this afternoon and tomorrow I’ll send more. However, with over 700 people who left their email addresses, it’s going to take me a while. I’m not quite 10% done.

For those of you who have had a chance to look, I’d welcome any comments you might have positive or negative of the analysis. Feel free to email me or leave comments on the blog.

I finally collected my testamur from the university of Thursday. It wasn’t in the folder I received on graduation day. Good thing too as they had to adjust a date. My academic transcript covers my whole uni life, starting with Graduate Certificate in Professional Writing (Editing) in which I earned two Dean’s excellence awards (2011 and 2012). I think switched to a Masters in Creative Writing (but believe me first class honours is best for scholarships). And then finally the Phd in Creative writing commencing 2016.

It seems so long ago now.

I don’t feel exceptionally clever for doing all this. My passion for writing drove me and once awakened a passion for learning stuff! I feel a sense of accomplishment and I proved my stamina!

You see, I left school at 15 years old, mid way through the Australian Year 10 or in my time 4th form. I don’t think I knew what a Phd was at that age. There was no encouragement to study, broken home, dysfunctional family, lost teenager looking for love. And life sucked pretty much really at that time. I wanted to go back to school but my itinerant lifestyle meant I couldn’t, nor could I get support from my mum to help me either. Later on in life, I was in NZ and I tried correspondence around age 17 and that was a bit hard. Later again in my early 20s I did my school certificate in NZ part correspondence and part night school. I had babies then and that was when I first had to idea to write. Unfortunately, young kids, feeling like I wasn’t smart enough I gave up that thought. I studied university entrance in NZ and got accredited. That meant I didn’t have to sit exams as my work was good all year. That was correspondence and it was great really. Three kids under five meant I had to be organised. I did maths in the morning because my brain was fresher and then physics in the afternoon. History and English in the evening if I could, around cooking etc. My husband at the time didn’t like me studying at night but I read my history stuff anyway while watching TV with the family.

I moved back to Australia, divorced and studied my higher school certificate (years 11 & 12) in a condensed year. I could have done fewer subjects and got a better score but that was a time limited thing, whereas the full school certificate was mine forever, and with young kids I didn’t know how long it would take me to get into uni. I was offered a place in arts at Uni of Sydney, but I wanted Economics. At this time in my life it was soul searching time, do I move to Canberra or Newcastle and go there or enter arts and try to switch in a year? All my supports at that time were in Bondi, so I went into arts and worked my butt off to get into economics. I did get into economics and I also studied Japanese and Spanish languages as additional subjects.

The point of this recounting of my education is that I wanted this education, I wanted it for reasons both ego stroking and economic reasons. I studied economics to get a job and, hence, a better life for my kids and me. I achieved that, despite setbacks, such as the introduction of HECS in my first year and then a recession when I graduated. No dream jobs available and being an older student not much opportunity at the time. My passion though was for the arts but with my limited time frame and supporting three kids, I didn’t have the luxury to pursue my passions. I had to to turn down honours too, offered because I was pretty good at tax law in the day.

The other unusual thing was I studied for my economics degree with opposition from many family and friends. It’s weird I know but people I loved and trusted tried to talk me out of going to uni. They saw no value in it, thought I would fail, waste my time or whatever. For me, though, study was the key to unlocking my life. I had low self esteem, achieving academically helped with that in many ways, I ended up earning well and putting my education to good use. Although I must say when I worked in the audit office I had imposter syndrome and kept meeting highly intelligent people and wondered what I was doing there. I also had imposter syndrome when I started the Phd. Although I’m told that’s normal.

It wasn’t until I was entering my forties that I thought about what I really wanted to do, which came to me in a traffic jam, and that was to write. And not long after I started writing.

I can’t tell you if the Phd in Creative Writing made me a better writer. That remains to be seen. The two books I published last year were written before I started the Phd. I think I look at the world differently and I’ve certainly been on a journey, life and study and genre over six years.

I will say that I’m satisfied with what I’ve done and how I have clawed my life into a semblance of something it could have been, if things had been different. Now coming up to my 63rd birthday, I feel content. I’m also glad it is done too, but I sense there is more out there in my future. I just need to focus and go for it.

Moral of the story. Go for it? Pursue your dreams. Value yourself.

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