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We’ve been to Bali, Singapore and drove through Victoria and spent a number of weeks in Tasmania. We tested positive for Covid on arriving in Hobart. Luckily we were still able to do our Terror Australis Writers Retreat because they let us, and we had a sefl-contained unit and our meals could be delivered. I got out of isolation in time to have my fan girl moment with Ann Cleeves.
This is not a detailed travelogue. Something even more exciting to me!
You see for nearly a year now I have not wanted to be in my office. Instead of finding it hard to get me out of there and off my computer, I just didn’t want to go in there. I thought perhaps I had burn out from the PhD. I’ve dabbled and so on. I got a few things done but the joy wasn’t there…just little glimpses of hope when I achieved something.
On Thursday, I decided I was going to work on an academic article based on my research. This has been on my to do list for about 2 years…and it kept getting pushed down the list so far down it wasn’t even on my radar. Along with my PhD novel I might add. I started doing some preliminary work. Reading some articles, checking out the formatting requirements for the journal I want to submit to etc. Today, Sunday, I started on it. I haven’t put a lot into it yet. What I felt, though ,is what amazed me. I felt joy. Absolute joy. And well that surprised me.
This is why only now looking back to I see that it was most likely burn out, now that it has lifted. I think the holiday helped because you know 6 weeks of being away from home, a free routine mostly. We got Bali Belly, I had a cough sore throat (non-covid) before I left and then go Covid for reals and now I’m coming good. I feel really good physically and mentally. I’m so grateful for that.
I’ve got a short window to focus on the article and the novel to be honest as we head overseas to the UK in December for 2.5 months and there’s a lot to do before we go and not as much time as you’d think to write while away.
I am still writing, regularly and rediscovering my joy in writing. It feels great.
No huge new project just yet. I’ve been revising drafts of works I started a while ago. I’ve sent Tainted Lady, my Regency romance novel off to a beta reader. I think it needs more work but beta reader comments help with that.
I’m currently revising a middle school kids book, called Grandma Neebs through the pantry door. It’s fun but also new learning for me. I do read kid’s books to research but writing them is an art. I have a beta reader lined up for that one, I just need to put my shoulder to the wheel. It’s relatively short so I hope I can knock it over before we travel.
I’ve also been writing short stories-I received a rejection this week. This means looking for a new market. I entered a contest and I have another story submitted. I don’t write a lot of short stories generally only I have found they help get the buzz going. Finishing a short story is great. Sending it out is great. Rejections not so much but I tell myself at least I’m writing regularly.
Even if it is only 30 mins in the morning before I start work or 30 mins when I finish work, it’s something. Today I’ve been at it a few hours and have now detoured to the blog.
That’s the challenge with writing, striking a balance between family, social outings, work and writing. To write a lot, you have to sacrifice, unless you can find a balance. I’m searching for that balance.
We have also found making time with ourselves to write at the National Library really useful and productive. Unfortunately, I’ll be working full time and then travelling so I’ll have to rebalance again. I’m hoping it will be easier this time because I’ve found some joy.
Just so you know I’m not just slacking off, particularly after the RWA conference in Sydney, where I swore to myself I would be more professionally focussed and writer centred.
I’m in my office with the heater on–tick
I’ve been reading, thinking and researching (all kind of run together)–tick
I have been writing (Yesterday at the National Library)–tick
I finished a draft of a crime short story and sent it to be read again–tick (thank you Matthew and Lily)
I wrote a bit more on my paranormal romance. Not much so half a tick.
I’m in my office to work on anything. I have a white board on the wardrobe doors with a raft of writing and administrative tasks and I told myself-one hour on anything — tick
Evidence of said white board in the pic below but be aware that it needs a complete rewrite…still a bit bad that the to do list needs rewriting! I had the doors installed for this purpose. Matthew has one too.
I’m trying to make myself comfortable in my office again and have it associated as a place where I work. Long story but I moved out to make room for a foster daughter (which didn’t end well) and it’s taken me a long while to get settled in here and I got rid of all the shelves and stuff so it’s still not mine yet. I did buy a new fantastical rug. Still more office furniture to go.
And lucky for me we have an amazing view and when I’m lost for inspiration I can look out over the ranges, I can sit on the deck if I have some manuscript reading to do and I can chill. The sky and the ranges are always changing so it’s enjoyable and affirming to look outside.
Matthew and I try to get to the National Library of Australia to write, once or twice a week. I’m still trying to get my writing mojo back and it’s coming slowly. Today we got here a tad later than planned because I was on the hunt for sparkle boots. Why sparkle boots? Well tomorrow we head up to Sydney on the train as I’m going to the Romance Writers of Australia Conference with a theme of ‘all that glitters’. Hence, the boots.
I haven’t been to a conference for a while, standard reason, Covid. The RWA have always been for me the most professionally focussed of conventions, there to network, inspire and share knowledge. Also, lots of opportunities if you take them to pitch novels to editors and agents and so on. I decided to go because I want to feel I’m back in the writing scene again and yes I want inspiration and example to guide me back to where I was.
We have also booked to got to Terror Australis in Tasmania in October on what we think is a once in a life time occasion. We have booked a writers retreat, workshops and the festival itself, with some fabulous guests, such as Ann Cleeves and Gary Disher. I think I’ve mentioned this before. Link is here.
My first foray into crime fiction is writing a short story which I want to enter into The Scarlett Stiletto Award. Link here. Today I revised the draft I wrote last week. It needs more but it’s shaping up.
I love genre and I write horror, SF, fantasy, dark fantasy, paranormal romance and now I’m dabbling in romance and I really want to try crime too. I love watching crime shows and I read it as well, not as much as I write speculative type fiction though.
Anyway, speaking of…I should get back to the other revisions on the novel I’m working on.
Anyway, here is a pic from the NLA of the lake from last week.
I’ve just submitted my first short story submission in years. I wrote a bloody short story! And I enjoyed it. Yay me. I am still a writer. You may think what the hell she’s published books and stories what is she talking about.
Well if you don’t write for a bit or you are finding it hard to engage, which I have done, you don’t feel like a writer much. In my case, I started thinking you were a writer and now you’re just in limbo. However, I had never considered giving up willingly at all. I just felt like I wasn’t doing what I should to be a writer.
I watch way too much crime series on streaming services. Hello, Vera! Broadchurch, Midsummer Murders etc. And for the pandemic years, which aren’t really over, I have been very confined in my taste for viewing and reading too. Thank god for Audibile I say.
I’m scheduled for knee surgery on Monday and may be unable to write during May. I’ll be on sick leave from my day job too. However, I must admit that I have had ideas running around my head. This is a good sign. Now I just have to be more devoted and methodical to the act of writing. Now that the short story is done, I can get back to other projects, of which I have many.
Better get back to it. I just needed to virtue signal about actually achieving something.
Time really speeds up when you’re are busy with life. It’s been a bit of this and that.
On the writing front I went to the ARRA awards in Sydney and it was great to catch up with people and feel like a writer again. I got all inspired and borrowed ideas for ways to promote me and my books at places like Gammacon in Canberra in July and Geek Markets later in the year and the ARRA signing in February in Sydney and Melbourne.
I’ve also been working on getting books out. I have the edit back of The Changeling Curse (that’s under the Dani Kristoff name) and I’ve got comments on Awakenings so that’s next in the chute for edit. I did manage to sneak away for a few days to write. I started the first chapter of Lightning Strike, which is a sequel to The Changeling Curse. Let’s hope that doesn’t take years! And I started a short SF story. However, since being back there’s just too much going on at home.
I’ve finally put in an order for a pull up banner and a banner for the back part of my table. I’m just in the middle of trying to get a table runner set up too. Meanwhile I’m getting these custom book marks made (Thanks Keri) as well. This means that my table and books will be presented at least.
There has been a change of government here in Australia, with a few more independents, which will make things interesting. There’s still heaps of Covid around and a war in the Ukraine.
On the weekend though we went to Sydney and to Luna Park. I tried the new Big Dipper. I went twice but you know I didn’t want to have a stroke so I didn’t go a third time. Also, the girl who looks you in said “Back again?” possibly because I’m old! Lol. We were so luck to have such a great day sandwiched between two rainy days. I also got to try out Sydney’s public transport, buses, trains, light rail and ferries. We stayed on Coogee Beach at the Coogee Sands and I highly recommend it. They had free parking and it was just a step outside to the promenade. Anyway, here are some shots.
As you can see great dayGreat view under the bridge from Milsons PointThrough the bus stop windowsCaught the sea gull taking offFrom the roof of the Coogee Bay Sands
It’s been a year since my last post. That’s totally unforgivable, even in these trying times. A lot has happened. None of it writing fiction. I hang my head. However, I am writing again or trying to. Perhaps I’m just too precious but I am affected emotionally and mentally by world events. Like a number of author friends I’m finding it hard to be creative.
A short recap of the last year. My partner lost his job in April (made redundant) but it’s not as bad as it sounds. He inherited a farm and if we could sell that between his superannuation pension and the sale of the farm he could be a full time writer (Me Too!). This meant cleaning out the farm, doing some renovations to make it habitable and selling it. Of course, pandemics don’t help much there and we were locked down for nearly three months when we could have been selling. As well as painting, flooring etc, I started a job to keep us ticking over. I’m still working but now I’m only three days a week and that’s pretty good so far. Working and renovations did take it out of me and I had to put aside the sourdough baking.
We also took a couple of trips to NZ on family business mid year. (when the country was open and just made it back before the borders slammed shut). That did not turn out how we thought it would. Counseling and recovery later, we are getting there. Without going into too much detail, this really changed everything, our house, what we thought our lives would be and we were left going on okay but slightly damaged. Sorry I can’t be more explicit.
Locked down with my daughter and granddaughter in August/September and into October. That was so hard. Both my daughter and I working from home. Child care of a two year old. My partner was amazing. My younger son was here too. Lockdown was damn hard. The news is damn hard. I agree with mask mandates, lockdowns and staying safe and even then I found it very, very hard. I had to have more counseling to cope with it, particularly after lockdown when Omicron started spreading. I was beginning to doubt we would have Christmas. Then, dealing with ‘living with COVID’ was also another change. I felt as if we had been tossed to the wind to fend for ourselves.
It isn’t all bad you know. I managed somehow to submit my PhD thesis in December. Although it didn’t go out to markers until March, due to COVID, missing forms and I don’t know what else. I believe this is something to be happy about but emotionally I’m just drained. We had a great Christmas. We survived lock down and we are all still speaking to each other.
We sold the farm and are just waiting on settlement.
One of my daughters was able to move into a brand new townhouse which was delayed. She loves it. And it’s not too far away.
We bough an electric car (KONA EV) and we love it. At first we couldn’t go anywhere much but we are doing a little bit now.
Meet Ruby Red
My partner had two books come out in hardback and audible. We think the paperbacks will be out soon. He’s starting to get his writing mojo happening again. Those two books took him about five years while looking after two elderly parents, then losing them a year apart. Then you know, smoke, hail, fire, pandemic and things really haven’t let up.
Here they are. The paperback of The Serpent and the Saint comes out April 12.
Crafting has been a godsend. I just totally lose myself. I’m still learning. I haven’t been weaving because we moved my floor loom into the garage as part of the house changes mid year and we haven’t sorted that out yet. My craftroom is being used as a bedroom. I was doing a lot of crochet and other craft until I gave myself RSI. It’s better now but I’m limiting myself to a row of Matthew’s blanket a night.
Front side of French Braid pattern.
Reverse side has a Maori inspired design
The pink quilt was for my sister. Both quilts used Jelly Rolls by Moda. The pink one had to be completely unpicked and re-sewn. It is an easy quilt in theory but YouTube tutorials don’t always give you all the technique
In progress shot
Also, while we didn’t garden this year due to renovation on the farm, I did manage to buy in tomatoes to make passata earlier in the month. A year’s supply and tomato ketchup too.
The results and the mess
There is more obviously to be grateful for. My grandkids and kids are safe. So are my family and friends as far as I know.
What’s changed though for me is my attitude to socialising. I also wonder will we ever be the same again. We went out for my son’s birthday to a restaurant, inside, with other people. First time in a long time and it felt transgressive. We had been socialising two on two on our deck or in cafe’s without outdoor seating until then. There is still so much COVID around. Then again, I’ve been at the pool recently and that’s just asking for it I suppose. However, I have prepaid and the pool have been very good all year stretching my visits out but once the government opens things up, the clock starts ticking again. I have such big lock down belly. I swear we drank two gins and ate three bags of chips a night in lock down. We also ate a lot of takeaways and chocolate. All my hard work in losing kilos. I got down to 65 kilos in July and I’ve put 10 back on. That’s not good for my health or knees. We are trying to get some kind of routine going, walking in the evenings, the pool and eating healthily. (I just ate dahl and a pork bun not sure how good that is).
Writing encompasses a number of tasks and projects and plans. As I manage my own ebooks on market places and do my own marketing, that’s all slid in a heap. Books are still selling here and there but I’ve not done anything much at all to help things along. The only thing I’ve managed is to do my BAS and my taxes. So when I start to think about writing, it’s not just the writing part, it’s the whole, newsletter and promotions as well. I’m totally out of the game and things change in one year…I wasn’t doing much before then either. Two years is a better estimate.
To get books published, I have to write them, revise them, get them edited etc. I have a couple that are getting close. To be honest they have been close for two years. One is a Dani Kristoff title, called The Changeling Curse, an ex rated paranormal fantasy. I received two beta reader comments on this and one lot of comments requires me to think. So that’s in the too hard basket. I have an editor lined up. Have had for a year. Next cab waiting is Awakenings which is a SF kind of romance. It was very much a romance but my beta reader (thanks Nicole) convinced me to ditch the sex scenes and concentrate on the SF side of things. That’s getting close to being sent out again to beta readers.
I started a kids book for NaNoWriMo in 2020. (I don’t think NaNoWriMo registered in 2021 with work and pandemic). I’ve been tinkering with that so I can finish the draft and send it out to beta readers.
These are only a fraction of what I have in the way of projects in progress or on the to be written list. But if I did happen to knuckle down I could achieve quite a bit. Having a backlog makes concentrating hard because you know…choice!
I hope I’m over this slump. I will try to blog again to update on my progress. I can’t say I’ll be the same as before because I don’t think I am or will be. Cheers from me and Matthew from our High Tea at the Hyatt last Monday. (Don’t know why he’s focussing on the glass!)
It is not possible to fight change. you have to roll with the punches. One minute you think you are heading this way and the next something alters, a new path arises and whammo, your future looks different.
I can’t really talk specifically about this change because while it affects me it’s not my news. We were going to refiniance and borrow heaps of $$$$ to renovate our house. We were almost there to signing when something changed and now we aren’t going through with it. I’m not upset or annoyed. We will be fine, but it does mean some short term stress to effect a positive change in our lives.
My partner is a writer. He gets paid and he has been writing while I’ve been slacking off doing this Phd gig. Although the Phd thing is getting closer, and closer to completion soon I’ll be wondering what I’m going to do with myself. Anyway, I think by the end of the year there will be lots more writing going on from both of us. That’s all the hint you are going to get. No I have not sold a novel…but I might finish one or two or maybe three.
I did something weird and extraordinary last night though. Instead of vegging in front of Netflix, I came upstairs and started revising a novel I last looked at in November 2019. I am 31 pages in. Yay me. I thought it might shock Matthew to know that while he was in his office diligently working on his revisions, I was in mine next door. It was thrilling and exciting. This is a paranormal romance I’m working on for my Dani Kristoff name and is the sequel to The Sorcerer’s Spell, featuring werewolves and sorcerers set in Canberra (mostly).Anyway, I was excited because I deleted words, trimmed and crafted sentences and otherwise behaved in a writierly fashion. Sigh.
It felt so good.
In other news, we had a craftanoon here on Sunday and I got out the tiered platter for some high tea shenanigans. Yes, there were scones, jam and cream. I finished my first ever embroidery kit after maybe seven years…cough. We had loads of fun. It is the second one I have hosted and it was relaxed and lovely. I have had to slow down on the crochet due to elbow issues. Today though I felt the call of the garden and attacked the forest that is the yard with the weed trimmer and now I’ve crawled up here to my office to do some real work. Cough.
We don’t have rampant covid here so we can almost lead a normal life and do things like socialise carefully. I am very grateful for that. I probably won’t get vaccinated until later in the year when it’s my turn. Australia is only now rolling out the vaccines. I’m so pleased that people I care about in the UK and the USA are getting vaccinated.
It’s the time of the pandemic. I’m not the only one to be swiped sideways with fear, with forced solitude and a mind that switches from baking to apocalyptic thoughts with each breath.
I try (am trying, will continue to try and tried) to be positive, to switch this situation into an opportunity. I managed to focus and work hard for weeks on my second draft of my PHD exegesis. Yay me! And then I decided to go on a short break for August an possibly into September. And that’s the snag. Freedom!
So from previous posts you can see I haven’t wasted my time completely (although that remains to be seen) as I’ve been querying agents in a time of turmoil, economic disruption and so on…Just so we are clear about the odds of success. This is not my issue. It’s being able to switch between tasks. Can I query an agent, work an hour on a WIP, do a bit of family history research and weave for an hour in a day? No!
I get into a groove so it’s only querying agents for hours…or going down a family history research wormhole. I bake bread but that’s about it. Why can’t I be focussed on other things too? I’m going to say here that I should do a schedule because I’m pretty good at sticking to them when I’m committed. But there’s the hitch. Commitment!
But maybe I’m being to hard on myself because I’ve got ideas. Ideas for new projects and they are good ones. One I’ve drafted an outline for, another is an idea I’ve had for years and suddenly got more ideas for so it’s actually starting to be a plot.
Why don’t I write the damn things? Give myself permission?
And that’s my issue. I’ve got excuses.
I’ve other projects in various states of progress. A first draft that needs a revision from scratch, a revision that I nearly finished last year that I started again, another novel that needs to be restructured into a duology, another project waiting to be revised. All these are novel length.
I used the excuse before that I must focus on the PhD until it’s done but you know I waste a lot of time not doing things. I’m not tutoring this semester and I’m probably not likely to get any more in future so the excuse that I’m brain dead or exhausted isn’t there. I’m home most of the time. What is my damn problem?
I feel I can’t go forward until I get this backlog addressed. But that’s probably not the right attitude. If I am thinking of selling then I should write the book that I think is the most commercial, the one most likely to succeed.
I was just chatting to my son about this and he was right in pointing out that it is the finishing that’s important. I like drafting novels but the hard part is the revision, the thinking, the reworking. And the more your write, the better you become.
I think this calls for a bit of soul searching. A bit of tapping into my passion and enthusiasm. I think I’m looking for hope as we all are. Maybe instead of a schedule I should set a number of time based goals. One hour of this, one hour of that and see how that goes. Yeah. I’m going to do that and see how it goes.
Apologies for my absence. I’ve been head down working on the second draft of my exegesis to a deadline. The deadline was my supervisor going on long service leave until early 2021 and so if I wanted his feedback I had to get the damn thing drafted by mid-July. Phew! I made it.
The novel for my Phd was mostly done before, but I had a sensitivity read by a non-binary person and managed to make some changes while checking over the manuscript. For the purpose of the PhD that novel is done. It’s parked until it’s time to submit and copy edit etc. This means I am now free to try to shop it around. If it sells there will be two versions. The one I’ve parked won’t change and there will be a published version.
I’ve started the ball rolling on selling the novel. I have to mentally prepare for rejections and silence. On the bright side, I have a bit more time to work at a slower pace on the third draft of the exegesis so I’m taking a short break to work on other projects. I’ve been dabbling in family history and that’s so addictive. It’s like a puzzle game. I’ve had to stop now or so I tell myself. And I’m working on a science fiction romance I drafted years ago and I hope to get that into shape for submitting or publishing before I have to get serious with the PhD again. I have a few novels in progress and one I should be drafting but I can’t do it all with a PhD on the boil.
I’ve started the intermittent diet because wow social isolation, iso baking and sitting on my arse! Oh dear. I may not succeed but as I’m getting older, the weight just goes on quickly.
My son has been staying with us and hopefully will be able to return home to China soon. He works and lives there. It has been lovely to have him around and he cooks too so ‘oh dear’.
I’m hoping that y’all are coping okay with the pandemic restrictions. I feel like I don’t have friends anymore. It’s weird. There’s Facebook and stuff but it still feels distant and strange. The restrictions in Canberra are easing but with the outbreak in Victoria and New South Wales I can’t help but be fearful and careful about exposure. It is also gut wrenching when I come up against the Covid-19 conspiracy stuff. I’ll just not start on that.
I chose not to participate in the New Zealand World con, mostly because I was head down and busy but I anticipated stress so bowed out. I was a member but I didn’t attend. I’m sad for New Zealand. What a blow!
This time last year I was at David Farland’s fantasy workshop in Dublin the week before Worldcon.
Anyway, I’ll leave you with a picture of this bread I made. I sort of made up the recipe and the method. I used a biga (preferment) but only a part day but man did it get big. Bigger than my head.
Donna Maree Hanson, Author, Phd in Creative Writing 