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Last week I worked out that I was being too intense and trying too hard and that I’d burn out. Today after a four day weekend, I’m feeling relaxed but alert.

Today’s chore is to review all the research proposal material to submit it for ethics approval. The ethics approval process is very long. I would have given up on it I think if not for my supervisor Tony knowing what was to go where. Thanks Tony! I want to ask some romance readers and writers questions but I have to do the same process as if I was going to take tissue samples from them and combine their DNA with animals. Sigh!

But now that it is close to being done, I’m feeling quite good about it all. I would like a year of researching books and academic articles before formulating my questions but alas I have to think them up now. At present I’m hunting for some definitions of strong, female heroine in relation to popular romance. If you see one please give me a hoy! I’ll need this to do my introductory seminar but it would also be useful for the questionnaires.

When I’ve tidied up the above papers…quite a few of them, I need to start working on a paper to be included in a conference. I don’t get to present this paper as there are too many other people wanting too and well I’m just starting out so I’m at the bottom end of the pecking order. It is fantastic though that there is so much romance scholarship that there is an oversupply of presenters. However, I can write the paper so it can be peer reviewed etc. I wrote an extract in February. Now I have to get my head back into that space and write the bloody paper.

Meanwhile reading lots of articles etc which make ideas percolate all the time and sends my mind into hyperspace and back again so rapidly I spin on the spot.

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Me, mother of swords, Queen of food

so I’m just doing the day in the life of a PhD candidate thing because that’s what I do these days.

PS We just blitz-watched Game of Throne season five. Nooo. Not Jon Snow!

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I’m just over two months into this PhD and I’m gaining a few perspectives into the world, as you do, and myself too.

Yesterday I read an article by Angela McRobbie and it made me think in new ways about the world and what we do to each other. This is the title of the article:

Notes on ‘What Not To Wear’ and post-feminist symbolic violence, Angela McRobbie, The Editorial Board of the Sociological Review, 2004, Vol 52, supplementary issue. (McRobbie, 2004)

It’s not the first article that got me thinking either or feeing emotional or just mind blown. Yet it was the first time I felt that I could do the methodological analysis required. Something slipped into place. McRobbie uses Bourdieu’s cultural capital to assess the changes in TV and the way females exist in this day and age. I need to understand Bourdieu and apply his framework to my own work. Now I think that’s possible. This article only came up when I googled Bourdieu and Popular Culture. It hadn’t stumbled upon it elsewhere.

The other realization I had this week was about pacing myself. I’m an intensely focused over achiever, well I tend in that direction. I can’t do that every day. I just can’t. Not for the next three years. I realized that I had to try and moderate myself. PhDs are self-directed and unstructured. You have a supervisor to provide advice and some direction, but basically it’s up to you to get the work done. For me that means trying to get it all done in a month, maybe two with constant reminders that I have three years. Three years doesn’t seem long enough sometimes. I’m enjoying it. But I don’t want to over do it and end up not enjoying it.

So the hardest lesson will be striking a balance of too much and too little and let myself breathe a bit.

Going to uni most of the week is really helpful. I thought it wouldn’t be but I find I come here and work and I’m not tempted to do housework. It will surprise you to know that I haven’t cleaned the house since I started this. My partner, Matthew, thought I’d go on a cleaning frenzy but I’m just too exhausted when I get home to do that. I’m even cooking less. Some chronic pain issues aren’t helping there either.

Guilt about attending the Jane Austen Festival over the weekend and Thursday and Friday, has lessened now that I come to this realization. I must pace myself. A little bit crammed in each day, is better than shoving heaps of info into my head and then having a brain explosion.

Balancing out the technical with reading retro Mills & Boon is helping too. That doesn’t feel like work at all. Filling out my spreadsheet is work though!

 

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In case you missed it, the Australian Romance Readers of Australia  (ARRA) hosted me for a blog post. Here.

I just want to say what a professionally run organisation ARRA is and how useful their work is. I really hope to make the conference in Melbourne in February 2017. Romance fans should check them out!

 

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Since my last post I’ve been reading and researching and then I took time out to attend the Jane Austen Festival in Canberra. I would have been doing this regardless of what else I chose to do. I’m just weird that way. I do cool stuff!

This is my second time at the Jane Austen Festival in Canberra. Last year I only attended two part days. One reason for that was that I was still working on my dress until late morning on the Saturday. For some reason I failed to enroll in any of the interesting sessions on at the festival, which meant I had to watch the dancing. I had hurt my foot so couldn’t participate. I met up with fellow writer Bronwyn Parry and her family and friends. I met some other people I knew too. I enjoyed it immensely then and took part in the promenade and carriage rides etc.

This year, I got my organization mojo going (I thought). I enrolled in a pre festival workshop to make a bonnet. This was a fab idea. I was interested in Aylwen’s method and I thought it was a good way to ease into the festival, maybe meet people. I failed, however, to enroll in any of the additional sessions. I couldn’t figure it out. Later I found a clue, an email had been sent in February with a password. Doh!

making bonnet

Cutting out the bonnet- a buckram construction

 

Unfortunately this year I also developed pain in the spine, everywhere and that put a dampener on things. I was going to participate in the dance tutorials, but egads! They were at nine o’clock! So pumped with painkillers I made it in on Friday. I sat and sewed with Bronwyn. I was on a mission to hand sew a white muslin gown. In the evening I participated in a dance. Nothing vigorous. But it was good to get out of the chair and move about. The atmosphere was fab! So many beautiful gowns. Dymocks Civic had a book stall so I bought a number of books. I also bought a second hand sari for converting into a gown and some fluffy feathers for bonnet trim.

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Books purchased at JAFA -some for my sewing and one for research

 

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Feathers and Fabric

Aylwen and John Gardiner-Garden are the organisers with volunteer helpers. The festival was managed wonderfully. I have organized SF conventions so I know how hard that is to do. The catering was wonderful and I don’t know how either of them could stand by Sunday night. John’s energy with the dance instruction and calling was indefatigable. The music was divine.

 

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Sewing with Bronwyn, Lauren and Kate

 

Saturday I stayed home for the morning. I hurt a lot, but rested and sewed and finished my gown. (this was for two reasons. I’m writing a Regency romance where the heroine sews gowns and I wanted to see if I could)

More painkillers and I was at the festival again. More dancing (just a little) but mostly watching and talking to people. I also bought a new bonnet blank (a straw base in the shape of a Regency bonnet for later trimming). My attempt at frugal practices was dead in the dirt by this time. I stayed for the Grand Napoleon Ball until after supper. I was hanging out to try the Syllabub. I went home earlyish.

This is a shot of me in my trimmed bonnet. I did it in a hurry as I had it for a year and was too ashamed not to trim it and wear it. Turned out well I think.

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Lauren and Kate in their lovely gowns. The Grand Napoleon Ball

 

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Assembled for the ball. I finished the white muslin gown all by hand.

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The hem detail of my dress. I had some vintage lace. I need to extend the hem as I ran out of fabric in the front.

Sunday and I was pain free. I was so happy that I was out the door relatively early. I missed the breakfast but I did buy some Bingley Teas. Bronwyn was delivering a workshop so I hung out with another writer Beverley and we had some morning tea. The big event for me was the promenade to the Old Parliament House Rose Gardens (Senate) where we had a picnic.

 

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Picnic!

 

 

I was pretty exhausted but did a dance lesson then listened to a talk on Regency and tea, had seconds of syllabub and went home. There was another ball after that but I was done in. I don’t know how people do it. What a jampacked weekend. Next year I want my daughters to come and Matthew too. I have a fantasy with him wearing Regency costume and dancing with me. I should take a pill.

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Me in the bonnet I made at the workshop. (not 100 per cent finished) and wearing the dress I made last year.

 

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Today it’s back to the PhD study. I’m working on questionnaires for readers and writers of romance and in depth interview questions. I feel it is a bit early to develop these but I have to submit my research proposal with my ethics clearance. I can’t do any interviewing etc until I have ethics clearance at that can take months. The form! My god. It’s complicated. I am so glad my supervisor, Tony, knows what it requires. So I’m sitting here at my desk avoiding work! Not! It’s good to recap I suppose. Now it’s time to be diligent.

Now it’s time to read about Bourdieu and drink some tea.

 

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I’m now two months into the PhD. It’s been a steep learning curve for me in many ways but others not. My day job skills come in handy and the fact that I’m researching and analysing topics that I love, means that I’m working harder than ever. I’m taking pain killers to do it too.

The first thing I needed to do was up my reading mojo. I started this well before I actually hit the uni scene. I’m still not where I should be. I need to read faster, harder and analyse more. But I’m getting there.

The next challenge is that I have a lot of topic areas to get across. I have to research a methodology. There’s no tick box here. I have to read the philosophy behind the methodology. Next, I have to research feminism (not in-depth because I’m not doing feminist research per se) but sufficient to understand it, the origins, the different schools of thought and past and current trends. Linked to this is Gender so I’m reading up on that and Queer theory. This links directly I think to my creative work, which will be spec fic with romance.

Then I need to read journal articles and books that deal with Harlequin Mills & Boon novels, with or without feminist analysis for my literature review which outlines what research has been done so I can point out where my research will add value. Absolutely fascinating stuff! OMG!

My independent research is the textual analysis of Harlequin Mills & Boon books from 1970 ish till now and also some interviews/questionnaires with romance authors and readers.

I tried develop a schedule so I could get across everything quickly. My approach of shoving all this stuff into my head led to me not reading Mills & Boon books because I was busy reading everything else. Pulls hair!

I haven’t quite got the schedule developed yet. I am being more balanced.

What I wasn’t prepared for is the change in me. Already I think I’m changed by what I’ve read. I believe I should be objective, unemotional and distanced, but I find I’m passionate, sometimes angry, sometimes so excited and happy. Maybe I need a chill pill or something. I don’t know if other Phders went through the same. It would be good to know. I’m not too upset by this. I like being enthusiastic and I know possibly in future I will have the t-shirt that says ‘don’t ask me about the Phd!’ on it. I feel like I’m surfing a wave of exploration and enjoyment. I wonder why I didn’ t do this years ago. (mostly couldn’t afford to)

I was saying to Matthew last night that this PhD might make me more of a feminist than I am now. I am a feminist but I am my kind of feminist. I’m not affiliated to any particular school. Life made me a feminist. I was subject to child abuse, I was raped at 14 (my first sexual experience) and was a victim of domestic violence and I was discriminated against in the workplace in the 1980s for being a woman. Life made me a feminist.

Feminist are known to rubbish popular romance. I can take that. I don’t  believe in that criticism because I can see feminism at work in the texts I’m reading. Not all texts but its there. However, yesterday, when I read an article about right wing Christian romances being anti-feminist (Darbyshire, P, 2002) I was enraged I think. I knew there were Christian romances out there. I thought they had no sex and took place in Sunday school. (not read one!) and then I read Darbyshire’s analysis and I was appalled by it. His analysis was great but I was appalled at the let’s blame feminism for the world’s problems he identified in the texts and put women back in their place, out of the work place and being subservient to men. OMG! This touched a deep nerve in me. I did the religious thing in my early years. No offense to my ex but I soon learned that I was lot smarter and more capable than he was. The thought that he was going to govern me in the afterlife sent me running and I haven’t looked back. I think people should be free to believe what they like, but I also believe in equality of the sexes and of race.

So that’s me. Two months in. I have a great supervisor. An excellent partner and very supportive friends.

Highland Gathering 1983

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I get so annoyed at myself. I have these great ideas for blog posts and then it’s so hard to get to the computer and all those wonderful ideas leak out of my head. Pfft! Gone.

Originally I thought I’d be writing a post a day on the PhD and wouldn’t that be fun. But hey, the PhD makes me busier than I was before so no way. I could write a post a day on the PhD but then you’d all explode in flames!

The Phd research (feminism in popular romance fiction ) so interesting in almost all aspects. The difficult part is settling in to a new place, new regime and a new focus. I’m loving the reading, the mind expanding study of feminism and philosophy (for the methodology), the ideas for my creative work and the reading of romances. I wish I could fit much more into my day. It’s addictive. The physical body and mind though has to have a break. I can assure you I’m pretty good at taking breaks.

I took a week off to go to Contact in Brisbane over Easter. I was even on a panel or two, I had a table for hats for a day, sold a few and hung out with people. Met new people too. The Hotel Jen in Brisbane was amazing. I ate at the hotel because the menu and prices were so good. The room was lovely and the service good. The Contact program was well designed. The downside was that not that many people came. Not as many as you’d expect to a national convention. For that I feel bad for the Brisbane organisers. They deserved better support.

Here is some pics from Contact. I really wasn’t drinking all the time.

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Me, Deb Kelly and Keri Arthur.

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That’s us again.

My good friend, Glenda Larke, asked me to give her acceptance speech if she won an award. Well she did! She won the inaugural Sara Douglass award for a series. Here’s the trophy. I nearly cried I was so happy for her.

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A pic of my hat table.

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Sitting around to say good bye. with Keri Arthur and Louise Katz and Gillian Polack at the back.

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Random pic of Brisbane. I went to by swimmers for my trip to the Gold Coast.

Now I’m back at Uni and working pretty hard. In fact, I’m on lunch break, getting ready to attend a workshop on being a better PhD researcher! This makes me laugh, but I’m doing it anyway.

In other news, I’m publishing a book. Argenterra, Silverlands book 1. It’s a story I’ve worked on since about six months after I started writing. This book has been with me to Envision in Brisbane back in 2003. I was planning to throw it in the bin, but my tutor Louise Cusack said not to do that. It’s grown so much since then as I have as a writer so it holds a special place in my heart. It’s the first fantasy I wrote. It’s light and bright but had some darkness there too. I’m doing the Indie publishing thing. So I’ve had a cover done by the brilliant Les Petersen, an edit done and a great proof too. It will soon be ready to go. Just need to get the blurb right. Lucky, there are great writer friends out there who help. So stay tuned. The ebook will be out by the end of the month with POD for June and Supanova in Sydney!

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On a more personal note, it’s odd but the busier I am the more productive I tend to be. I’ve been suffering a bit with the spine, but I’ve been taking the meds and today I’m feeling the best I have in two weeks. Yay! Yesterday, in a bid to keep fit and take a break during the day, I walked down the road to the pool, where I walked in the water for half an hour and came back. It was such a lovely day that I was happy and content.

 

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While I was in Melbourne for Trudi and Paul’s new year’s party, I thought it would be good to see the Weiwei and Warhol exhibition at the National Gallery of Victoria. I’d never been to the NGV and they always seem to have these fabulous exhibitions that I miss out on. So Matthew (Dweeb) and I stayed in a hotel in Doncaster for four nights so we could go to the party, visit a few friends and go to the exhibition. Trudi and Paul went along with us, or is that us with them. Okay, Paul drove so we went with them!

I do like to walk around exhibitions with friends and chat and look but we all parted ways at the opening, not on purpose it just happened. Trudi was called back because she had a small back pack and then I got distracted by artworks (fancy that) and Paul did too and the Dweeb was looking over stuff minutely. I’m used to the Dweeb reading every line of every picture, sulpture display so I knew that I wouldn’t be able to go that slowly and that I’d probably be stuffing cakes in my mouth and swilling tea for a hour or more before he left the exhibition. I don’t like crowds so sometimes I skip bits if it’s too fussy with people!

I didn’t take a lot of shots, just some hints as to the brilliance of this exhibition. I know Ai Weiwei’s name as an activist and that he’s an artist but not his art or why he’d be co-shown with Warhol. I think the curators have done wonders with this presentation. There is amazing cohesion between the artists. They both use multiple media, sometimes using the everyday to express their ideas and comment on society, they both use film and photography as well as the written word.

The exhibition also catered for children in fun and interesting ways and I thought it was innovative in that way rather like the artists. Well done. NGV. You made my first visit an event to remember.

Note: The images here are provided for the purpose of critique and review.

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I can’t describe in detail the first section of the exhibition but that would spoil it. I did take a shot of an activity section between rooms

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This next shot is the detail of the wall paper in the corridor.

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This shovel is one of Weiwei’s-an example of using the everyday.

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The bicycle installation was an example of art being a political protest.bicycle

In another break between rooms there were more balloons.

more balloons

Weiwei works across mediums. This photo is a small section of porcelain flowers, a truly remarkable piece.

porcelin flowers

 

The stool sculpture is made from traditionally made stools with no nails or glue.

 

stools

Warhol and Weiwei had Mau in common and the curators here had juxtaposed them quite nicely. The first is a section of Mau wall paper but there were a number of portraits of him.

wall detail Mau

 

Then a Warhol portrait on the wall paper.

mau on mau

It’s interesting. I studied Warhol and Pop art in school but I really didn’t know what an amazing person he was and how much he did. Weiwei uses plastic bricks, sort of Lego, to make pictures too.

section of wall

There was a great range of Warhol art in this exhibition. It was more comprehensive than I expected. They have really put together an in-depth exhibition so you should go along. it’s open until April.

Now an obligatory Warhol picture -Jackie

jackie

 

There was a lot of photos from both artists, but my favourite had to be Weiwei’s famous geographic icons. I won’t spoil it for you.

Lastly, a comprehensive set of sculptures from Weiwei.

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So as I mentioned I got separated from Trudi, Paul and the Dweeb. I had high hopes of having tea with Trudi and Paul while we waited for the Dweeb and I was in luck, but just. Phone reception within the gallery itself sucks big time! Like none. I couldn’t get in touch with Matthew to tell him my pants were on fire if I wanted to.

Trudi and Paul took me to the upstairs tea room where we had excellent tea and coffee and cakes. I tried something I knew nothing about and it was scrumptious! We waited and debated what to do while we waited for the Dweeb as Matthew could not be seen and was unable to be contacted due to crap NGV internet coverage. This was the only downside to the whole venture. Trudi suggested looking up other things in the general exhibition. We didn’t want to take too long in case we missed Matthew and Trudi wanted to show me the textiles, which were fab and her favourite installation, which has become mine. I liked this guy.

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I can’t upload the film I took of the bowls in water installation on the third floor but I think I can do this. Click here.

Still no sign of Matthew, we headed to the surrealist exhibition which was in another building of the NGV. I managed to get a message to Matthew hoping he would see it instead of looking for us. Not long after we arrived at the other exhibition, Matthew had emerged from the Weiwei/Warhol and had to amuse himself until we got back.

I took a shot of this because I wanted to show Matthew after and it reminded me of a Warhammer 40 K painting.

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he Australian Surrealist exhibition was not a comprehensive or amazing as the Weiwei/Warhol one, but it was eye opening. I didn’t know these artist existed before, except maybe one or two. I didn’t know Barry Humphries was an artist (Dame Edna).

This I took because it was glass and Matthew has an interest in that medium.

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Then there was this sort of feminine contortionist sculpture, well that is what it looks like to me.

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So that’s it, my delving into culture. Highly recommend the NGV. The Dweeb wants to have a method to keeping tabs on each other for future exhibitions. I think he didn’t like being left behind. No phone contact made that hard too.

And here is the view of the Dweeb waiting for us to return. I knew he’d go to the shop and he did. He bought the amazing catalog!

 

Matthew

 

 

 

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I’ve joined Patty Jansen’s free book promo for first in a series. There are 66 books up there for free in the SF and F genres. Shatterwing is up there too.

book promo

Dragonwine

Dragon Wine Series

I’ll be back with a review post of the Ai Weiwei/Warhol exhibition!

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Happy New year! 2015 is done and 2016 is here. Yipee!

2015 was a tough year for me on many fronts. My mother passed away on the 4th of January and then my health was a bit up and down. (Looks like it’s thyroid issues). Work became a bit of struggle and then I injured myself, resulting in a diagnosis of some thoracic disc protrusions. That diagnosis sent me on a downer. Not only was it (is it) painful it curtailed my writing in a big way. The bigger thing that diagnosis it did was make me look at my life at what I was doing with my work and what I wanted to do with my productive time. You see, I can only see this arthritic spine of mine getting worse over time and so doing things like craft, writing  etc becomes more precious to me. I love making things. It’s my life blood.

I lost my friend Sonia to scleroderma and other close friends have had some health scares. My eldest son moved to China for work. He loves it. I miss him.

On the bright side, and there is one (or many), I’m generally healthy, so is my partner, Matthew, my children and my grandchildren.

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Me (the Dweebette) and Matthew (the Dweeb!)

So apart from some chronic pain I’m really happy on in the inside. That makes a big difference. We love our house. Our deck got built and it’s amazing.

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The long awaited deck and a peak at the views.

I also got to see some Koalas when I took some visiting Indonesians out to Tidbinbilla.

2015 koala

As I wasn’t able to write, I had to do other things to keep me sane so I did some craft-weaving, sewing and millinery. I try to use a timer to alternate through different things so I don’t injure myself. Millinery can be done standing up. I also discovered Audible and have been listening to some fab books. I’m going to continue that.

I also did a few cakes. Like this one for my daughter. Totero and this one for my boss’s farewell, a vintage Kombi.

So what is in store for me in 2016? As previously mentioned on this blog, I am commencing candidature for a higher research degree (PHD). That starts in February. I have lots of reading to do and some papers to write. The topic is Feminism in Popular Romance.

I’ve got a bit of organising to do to get ready for that. I need to clear the decks of some writing tasks. The reason I’ve taken January off work. I also need to do some practical things like reorganise my office in readiness for study. I wouldn’t call it organised now…but that needs to be improved. I had a message from my daughter. Mum: junk attracts junk. I get the message.

I’m hoping some books will also come out in 2016. I may experiment with self-publishing. Sometimes it can take too long to flog a book and it gets dated. In that case, I may as well get it out there and experiment.

Appearances wise, I’m hoping to get to Contact in Brisbane over Easter and to the Romance Writers of Australia conference in Adelaide later in the year. I’m very tempted by Supanova!

With regards to hats, I’m working on doing more of those and setting up a website to sell them. Bring on the steampunk hats!

I’ll be finishing up on the day job in the first part of the year. Losing the good income is a scary prospect, but you know I’m going to take the leap and see where it gets me.

Happy New year! Hopefully you will pop back again.

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Me in one of my hats. Photo by Cat Sparks.

Oh and Dragon Wine Part 1 is on promotion. It’s free in ebook. I’m also doing a blog tour and a give away of a hard copy. To be in the draw to win a print copy of Shatterwing leave a comment.

Dragonwine

Dragon Wine Series

Blurb

Dragon wine could save them. Or bring about their destruction.

Since the moon shattered, the once peaceful and plentiful world has become a desolate wasteland. Factions fight for ownership of the remaining resources as pieces of the broken moon rain down, bringing chaos, destruction and death.

The most precious of these resources is dragon wine – a life-giving drink made from the essence of dragons. But the making of the wine is perilous and so is undertaken by prisoners. Perhaps even more dangerous than the wine production is the Inspector, the sadistic ruler of the prison vineyard who plans to use the precious drink to rule the world.

There are only two people that stand in his way. Brill, a young royal rebel who seeks to bring about revolution, and Salinda, the prison’s best vintner and possessor of a powerful and ancient gift that she is only beginning to understand. To stop the Inspector, Salinda must learn to harness her power so that she and Brill can escape, and stop the dragon wine from falling into the wrong hands.

Dragon Wine Book 2 :Skywatcher, the follow on book is also available in ebook and print.

http://momentumbooks.com.au/books/shatterwing-dragon-wine-1/

 

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I checked out Smart Bitches Trashy Books podcast because I’m in between ebooks. I’ve been catching up with a lot of blog casts lately! I caught up on a whole year of Champagne and Socks-easy because they are short (about ten minutes) and Alisa missed a number due to health issues (not nice but it did make catching up easy).

So I listened to a pod cast with Amanda (also from Smart Bitches) and it was about Amanda’s sex life. You know that thing people have and her being younger and using Tinder was really very interesting. Sarah’s contrast with what is actually happening with young women (admittedly not all, but some) and what is in a romance novel was a case in point. The majority of romance readers don’t like female leads that sleep around and definitely not while dating the hero. It is also frowned upon for a man to sleep around once romancing the female hero.

This got me thinking-why is this so? My own reaction is similar to those ‘readers of romance’ and why do I feel that way?  I guess for me I’m a result of my culture and upbringing. I am formed by early religious teachings-I was brought up a catholic with Presbyterian and Baptist influences. Although I’m not religious at all now not for many, many years, the influence remains.  I was also growing up in a time when woman’s role was very traditional- man and home focussed. The girls older than me got birthday and Christmas gifts for their glory box. I remember someone explaining that a glory box was the Manchester you took with you when you got married. So girls at 15 and older would get sheets, crockery, towels and household stuff to put away for when they got married.  Then women’s lib and Bob’s your uncle. World changed.

There was also a very strong focus on virginity, and if you lost that well you lost something of value and that was be shared with the ‘one’. I know it’s an old story right. I know that stuffed me up mentally for many years. That’s another story.

What this amounts to is that I’m conditioned to feel a particular way. I recognise that. Separating the conditioning from how I actually feel is hard. If young girls are equal to men then they should be able to initiate sex, have sex without commitment just like men have always done. Here, here…that’s just right. Why does it make me quake at the thought?

Sarah raised a question in the podcast—what then becomes special about the person you are with in a romantic sense? What makes them special if you have slept with so many partners? This raises questions for me too, like is sex now transactional if removed from emotion, connection and commitment? Are these questions pre- programmed into me? It’s scary. You really should listen to the podcast (link below).

Generally, I have no problem how people want to conduct their sex lives. I am happy for people to be free as long as they don’t hurt others. They have a freedom I don’t. I’m a serial monogamist. That’s the way I am. Basically, I’m too old to change that . However, this podcast certainly gave me insight into my daughters and the world they are living in, what they face day to day.

So I thoroughly recommend this podcast for romance readers and those of you who are mothers and want some insight into their reality.

The second podcast I listened to was from Nerdette and it was an interview with Caitlin Moran, whom I have never heard of previously but who is absolutely fascinating. Her interview looks at feminism and popular culture and how strong pop culture is in getting the message out there. I liked Moran’s Feminist self-assessment test.

Put your hand in your pants. Do you have a vagina? Yes, do you want to control it? Then you’re a feminist.

She also has a tea towel with the five rules of feminism. 1. Women are equal to men. 2. Don’t be a dick. 3. That’s all.

Moran mentions a fifth wave of feminism and I’m like what happened to the fourth wave? And I’m trying to get to grips with the third wave. Yet, I like her simplistic attitude. No dictating what people should wear, what their opinions must be, just cool. I’m with that.

Podcast links. N. 172  Smart Bitches

Nerdette

Caitlin Moran link

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