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Posts Tagged ‘anxiety’

The first thing I made with my new stand mixer was caramel slice. I made peppermint slice too but it didn’t need the mixer. I’ve given some of the spoils away but there are more plans. I want to make peanut butter and choc chip cookies!

I have a Thermomix, too, but the weighing function isn’t working properly which caused an issue with my hot cross buns. The first batch tasted great but were useful for killing chickens-so dense! The second batch had way too much flour and I ended up with huge Hot Cross buns and 14 instead of the supposed 12. They tasted great though so that’s fine.

The Artisan Kitchen Aid machine is smaller than I thought so I’m guessing it’s smaller than the original. I loved the colour of this machine too. I have yet to renovate my kitchen so it doesn’t matter that colour is different to everything else.

Anyway, here are a few pictures. Note the engraving.

And here is a picture of the monster hot cross buns.

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With regard to pandemic dreaming, well that’s an interesting thing. My anxiety levels have increased. I wake up at 3 am and then go back to sleep after I check the news. I know it’s counter productive but I’m awake. I’ve had a headache and nausea for about four days and I can’t think of eating meat. Just weird. I think it’s the anxiety but I’ve booked to do a tele health appointment on Friday so I can get a blood test and maybe talk about the stress. I have raised liver enzymes and my doctor increased the dosage of my statins and well we should check that out as well. Last time the new statin had made no difference to my cholesterol levels and they actually increased. This is an old brand because I react to the others. A last ditch effort by the doc.

And then tomorrow I start back doing online tutorials, which I find rather stressful. I can’t pinpoint why just that they are for me. Teaching online is way different than in person. Lucky the topic is not too difficult. I have to think up what I will teach for Creative Writing this week. I’ve some ideas and I hope my students are okay.

This week was an extra week off so I decided to have a holiday. Last week I was marking stories and doing things.

In February, I was lucky enough to interview Darynda Jones in Melbourne at the ARRA signing. I had started reading her Charlie Davidson series. One book came and I read it in a day. The other is taking its time. Due to quarantine etc posted books from overseas are taking much longer to get here due to less air travel. I was looking around for a substitute and remembered my JD Robb collection. I had read the first 14 books last time, some were rereads, so I picked up where I left off. You know, JD Robb (Nora Roberts) brought tears to my eyes twice in Portrait in Death. Once with Roarke and the situation with his mother and then with Crack and his sister. Well done! And the writing is great. Sometimes the world building is slightly thin in the in Death series but I still think JD Robb is clever and the books are smart and absorbing. I have Imitation in Death next up. I’ve also written down the gaps in my collection and put in some more orders. She just keeps writing them and I’ll never keep up. Over 40 books and I have like 35 of them. Book Depository is getting pricey, probably due to the shit Australian dollar. So I’ve tried to order from the local Dymocks. They are slightly more pricey but if they have them I don’t have to wait and maybe they will deliver.

I’m also hoping to focus more on the PhD this week as I think I’m going to be in isolation for a while so I need to pull up my big girl panties and get on with it.

 

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I have an exciting blog interview planned but it’s not ready yet. I am waiting for some answers to come in. In the meantime, I thought I’d post something about what is happening with me.

I’ve been experiencing a lot of stress lately due to an external issue. This has been hard on me. I’ve had to take sick leave from my PhD and I’ve had awful stress and anxiety symptoms and I find it hard to concentrate. High stress and anxiety increase my overall pain levels so it can be rather debilitating. I haven’t been able to read much at all, or invest in watching a movie or write fiction. I do walk a lot and I’m losing weight.

We live in an ableist society and so we are brought up thinking that we should be able to do everything and when we are not we get over critical of ourselves and also stress about how people view us. For me, I hate labels. I was sent to a psychiatrist last year to assess my stress and anxiety after a panic attack at work. I wasn’t sent to the psychiatrist until about four or five months after the attack. By then I’d been on meds and had two different lots of counselling and was feeling much better. I didn’t want to have a label and so was pleased that the psychiatrist said I wasn’t suffering from any psychiatric disorder. Even though this attack was brought on by an injury at work that I was having trouble adjusting to and workplace shenanigans. But shrug.

I believe my inherent ableism affects my outlook on my physical disabilities as well. The RSI and arthritic conditions limit me. I hate to be limited. I am a doer. I am an ablelist. It is part of who I am. There is so much I can’t do now and I hate it. I try not to think about it. No wonder I’m stressed. So I hate to acknowledge that these things make me less than I want to be. I know I should just suck it up right. I’m getting older. Well I’m 56 not 76!

But here I am again. Sigh. Having symptoms and it sucks.

My approach to Indie publishing has been to publish books that have been previously published and that I have the rights back to and books that I’ve already written that made it to acquisitions but weren’t bought by publishers. (This doesn’t include the book that is/was with my agent as we still have hopes). Last November, I wrote the short novel, Opi Battles the Space Pirates because that was just fun. However, while I’m not actively writing new stories, there is a bit of work in getting the books back out there and the new ones published.

The rights to Shatterwing and Skywatcher have been returned to me. This meeans they are no longer available. Before they can be relaunched they need to be proofread. Shatterwing is done and I’m just waiting on the map and the new cover. Skywatcher is still in progress in proofreading. My approach to this was work from hard copy that way I can use my tilt board and make it as ergonomic as possible. However, it’s still hard work! Concentration people!

My apologies to Dion who bought Shatterwing and then found he couldn’t buy Skywatcher as Pan Mac took it down. He wrote to me to say : Wing dust! It ended in a cliffhanger. In my defence, I had asked for the books to come down in May 2017 so I could have time to prepare but something went missing in the communication and I had no notice of when they would or did come down. They just disappeared from the Internet.

As per above, concentrating has been hard. Deathwings copy edit is done. I was a good way into it before the external stress causing business came back and overwhelmed me. But as I was nearly done, I managed a few more hours. Deathwings is now with the proofreader.

The new covers are in progress too. And I have Russell K looking at the maps. I’ve outsourced as much as I can. I have three weeks to finish revising Bloodstorm before it’s due at the editor. I think that’s doable, even if I only do an hour per day. However, if I don’t make the deadline, it will take longer to get Bloodstorm out.  No great dramas, except for readers because a lot happens in Bloodstorm.

For more of the Dragon Wine series, you guys will have to wait. I have a PhD to do. Although if this external stress thing doesn’t resolve I will probably go part time on the PhD for a little while.

The Silverlands series. Argenterra and Oathbound are published. I have to do a little bit of stuff to get the print file of Oathbound ready. I also need to pay someone to do the formatting for the Smashwords edition of Oathbound. I can do it, but it’s a bit difficult on the physical side of things. (Oh I hate admitting that–it’s the ableist in me!).

The edit of Ungiven Land is in progress. I may have a bit of work to do when it comes back to me later in the month. I had a chat to the copy editor this afternoon. Apparently I’ve developed new bad writing habits and may have my work cut out for me. My editor wanted to know if it was okay if she picked me up on things, suggested new scenes etc. I said go for it.

That’s what I want. That’s what an edit is for. Make me sweat. I want a better book.

This week I heard that I have the rights to The Sorcerer’s Spell back. That’s a sexy paranormal novel that is published under the Dani Kristoff name. That needs the same treatment. New cover, proofreading, new ISBNs etc. I have a half started sequel somewhere. If I’m to work on that then it will be dictation software! If I can concentrate. A lot depends on what happens over the next few weeks and months. However, finally I might get a male torso on the cover! A first for me.

There is administrative stuff that is done and heaps not done. Just registering ISBNs and Catalogue in Print stuff takes time and energy. I wished I earned enough to pay an assistant! Hahahahahaha!

Fun is over. Back to work.

And just for fun I’ll put a cover image of Argenterra here. It’s new low price is USD 2.99. I also revamped the blurb for this.

Sophy is not looking for a talisman: she is the talisman!

Sophy is snatched from our world during a ghost tour. Landing in the lush world of Argenterra, she’s the odd one out. She can’t use the land’s native magic, the given, even though her friend Aria, and everyone else, can.
Worse still, she’s a faded version of herself and doesn’t fit it at all.

Abandoned by Aria who marries a handsome prince, Sophy travels the land with Oakheart, the high king’s ambassador, to explore the mystery of why there is a crystal leaf growing inside her.

Then the accidents start to happen and she realises a dark force wants her: alive or maybe just dead…Argenterra with subtitle

For more information on The Silverlands Series and buy links, click here. Have you got your copy of Argenterra yet?

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